Managing the Dark Side – When Strengths Become Weaknesses – Part 4
Posted by
Part 4 – Independent personalities
The more senior a position we hold at work, the more independently minded we need to be. At times, we need to make tough decisions and withstand the emotional input of others. If we can remain detached, we can see issues more clearly and make more rational decisions. Independent thinkers are not swayed by the last person who lobbied them; instead they can deliver well thought through, logical, strategies which meet the demands of the situation. So, ‘what’s not to like’?
Independent, tough-minded people can appear so detached that they come across as unfeeling. They can be judged as self-centred, disinterested in others’ concerns or emotions, with little awareness of or interest in organisational politics. While they are highly self-sufficient and able to get things done, others may find them difficult to work with because they feel excluded from decisions or projects. Independent people often come across as forthright and rather fearless, unafraid to express contradictory views. During times of turbulence and change a dissenting voice may be the very one we need to listen to – yet if their relationships at work are under-developed their dispassionate presentation may mean we ignore their input just at the point we need it most.
Under stress, Independent types withdraw more and more into themselves. They appear detached as they withdraw to protect themselves, yet may end up feeling very lonely and isolated. Independent people can fear that others do not understand or like them – and become more independent as a form of self-protection. Or they may find emotional issues challenging and stressful to deal with and so keep others at a distance for fear of being overwhelmed and unable to cope – “I am a rock, I am an island”. Getting through their defences can seem impossible.
If we are managing people with this potential dark side what can we do to reduce the negative impact of a strongly independent nature?
First, we need to demonstrate that we value their strengths – trying to batter their defences down with criticism won’t help as they’ll become even steelier. Instead, we need to help them let down their defences and become open to change. It’s often helpful to talk about perception – that people see them in a way which is unhelpful and not what the individual intends – and that to build their reputation, they need to address this perception.
We can help them to experiment with identifying stakeholders, involving them early and clarifying their criteria for success, then documenting these before working on a solution. We can coach them in improving their ability to summarise and show good listening – so that people feel heard, even when a decision doesn’t go their way.
While they will probably always have a strong need to work independently and probably hate prolonged team discussions, we can ensure that they spend time listening before they start this independent work. Then the criteria of success can be used as a yardstick to assess proposed solutions and decisions, raising the question – does this fit the need?
They may benefit from an initial training programme to awaken the realisation that how we communicate is not just verbal. The manager, coach or mentor can also help them develop their awareness of group dynamics in project or team meetings so they can see when their ability to voice dissenting views is helpful and when it might be disruptive. Exposing them to concepts like the De Bono’s 6 Thinking Hats might give them insight into their ‘natural’ way of contributing – and encourage them to contribute in other ways as well. We can help them to develop their ability to spot signs from others that they need their input and support.
Finally, we can help them recognise and value other people’s perspectives and rather than feeling overwhelmed by more emotional arguments help them to understand what drives those views so that robust solutions and approaches can still be developed to meet people’s needs
TAKE AWAY
Independent team members can be focused and self-sufficient and demand little of your time as a manager. However, they may keep others at a distance, appear invulnerable to persuasion, and make others angry and frustrated. By helping them improve their communication skills and developing their insight into the impact of their own, often protective, behaviour you can maintain a high performing team.
If you would like to know more about career derailers, talk to Talent & Potential about this series and the Hogan Development Survey psychometric, useful for both recruitment and development.