Saying “Yes” is Constantly Getting Me Into Trouble
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In my experience, “You say Yes too often” is a very common piece of feedback from managers. (Even though obviously they don’t expect you to ever say no to them!)
Joking aside, if your manager is giving you this feedback they’re probably right. It’s time to start turning down the generous “development opportunities” everyone keeps offering you!
The question is, how do you stop saying yes?
Assuming there are times you want to say no, how do you do that sensitively? Here are some things to think about:
“Just say no” – Zammo.
Joking aside, if your manager is giving you this feedback they’re probably right. It’s time to start turning down the generous “development opportunities” everyone keeps offering you!
The question is, how do you stop saying yes?
- Be careful to not overdo it
Having been told that it’s okay to say no, sometimes people can get overzealous and start saying no to things they should be doing – which can damage their reputation. If the task or project is a core part of your role – you must say yes. If you are saying no to things outside your role – but still find you are overloaded – then there is probably an issue with how your role is designed. Have a conversation with someone about reshaping the role. - Are you too much of a perfectionist?
Are you overloaded because once you have said “Yes” you do every piece of work to a very high and exacting standard? I respect taking pride in your work, and sometimes accuracy is essential, but ask yourself – is the same standard needed for everything on your list? There’s a saying “if a job’s worth doing it’s worth doing well”, but sometimes Facebook’s mantra is just as valid – “done is better than perfect”. Are you spending 30 minutes crafting an email for example, when a 5-minute phone call would do? - Does everything on your list have to be done?
Is there anything on your to-do list that is a nice to have rather than being essential? Also (and this is something I like to do regularly), have you recently purged your ‘To do’ list of things that aren’t really relevant anymore? - Does everything have to be done now?
Before you start saying no to opportunities which could be good for your visibility and career, think about how well you are managing your workflow. For example, is there anything that you must do, but can renegotiate the timing of delivery? Sometimes we can end up believing that we need to do everything “now” and rush to get everything completed, only to find (and this happened to me this week) that when we email it off to the recipient, we get their holiday out-of-office message in reply!
Assuming there are times you want to say no, how do you do that sensitively? Here are some things to think about:
- Why are you saying no? Ask yourself what else would be jeopardised if you took this particular action on. This is especially important if it’s your boss asking – as if you share the implications and knock-on effects on your work, they may help you to reprioritise, or realise it’s not possible.
- Why do you always say yes? If it’s because you worry people will think worse of you, consider how they will they feel if you say yes, but deliver late or not at all.
- Is there another way? A blunt no can be quite frustrating to hear. Can you suggest another way the work can be done?
- Is it because it’s not your strength? Sometimes it’s important to say no because you don’t have the skills, confidence of experience to do it successfully. Making sure that you have a sensible rationale is key.
“Just say no” – Zammo.