Should women ask for raises?
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Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella is getting a lot of press inches for saying that women shouldn’t ask for raises. I have a lot of sympathy for the guy, because when you look below the puff and outrage, what he said holds an element of truth. And he’s not alone in his view.
The facts of the matter are that he was speaking to an all women audience. He was asked in the Q&A session, “How should a woman ask for a raise, when most women find this uncomfortable?”
His answer was essentially to believe in the system and the right things will happen. Take the long view and you’ll be rewarded in the long run – asking for a raise is not ‘good karma’ and he noted that this was advice he was once given by his female boss, and had followed himself. This advice wasn’t specifically directed at women, by the way, it was just that his audience was women. Other senior leaders in the tech industry hit back by saying that the research shows that women tend not to speak up about being ready for the next role as often as men – so his advice was ill thought out.
But both of these statements are compatible. Asking for a raise is not the same as speaking up about being ready for the next role. There is a lot of action you can take to make it clear that you are ambitious, that you are ready for a bigger challenge, that you are looking for career progression in the immediate future. Asking for a raise is probably the least successful, and we have seen real examples where this action has hamstrung careers. For example, 2 supermarket managers were offered a chance of a role as acting area managers; it was at a critical time for the business when no promotions were allowed and there was a headcount freeze. One (a man) refused to take on the acting role unless he was paid for it. The other (a woman) accepted the deal. She subsequently accepted a further progression into a bigger area management role – still without being paid the rate for the job. At this stage, she was managing store managers who were earning considerable more than her. When interviewed, she told me “I trusted the organisation would pay me when it was possible to do so.” 2 years on, when the freeze was lifted, the woman was formally appointed to the 2 levels higher role – with backdated pay. The man was still a supermarket manager.
There are several things that are wrong with asking for a raise, whether you are a man or a woman – and this seems to be the point that Satya Nadella was making. He never said ‘women shouldn’t ask for a raise’; he just said asking for a raise was not ‘good karma’. But he was talking to a female audience and the chance to blare out ‘Women shouldn’t ask for a raise’ was irresistible to journalists…
The first thing that is wrong with asking for a raise, is that the focus is on taking rather than giving. It’s better to say “I want a bigger challenge” or “I want to make a bigger contribution”, or “I want to progress my career and take on bigger responsibilities”. Saying “I want a raise” sounds blinkered, short-term. It suggests that you don’t understand the organisational perspective – where would an organisation be, if raises were just given to people who pushed hard for them? It’s very hard to justify a pay rise to people who control wage inflation, without an increase in responsibility to justify it. You may have had a fantastic result lately, and be doing better than others on bigger salaries. That might earn you a bonus; but it’s on-going responsibility that earns you a salary hike. (And if you are a high flier with a golden future ahead of you, you should expect to be outperforming others – you should treat this as a given.) The second thing about asking for a raise is that it is a bald transaction. “I deserve a raise” is rather too close to “You are ripping me off by paying me less than I’m worth”. This is the ‘karma’ Nadella speaks of. It’s a bit insulting to your manager, and puts them in a difficult place. The best advice is not to approach career progression in a narrow transactional way “If I do A, will you do B?” Instead, focus on building a lot of bankable goodwill. Invest yourself, focus on making the best contribution you can, be generous and not stingy with your commitment – and others will reciprocate in time with opportunities and progression. It’s the same generalised reciprocity that pays dividends with networking – give freely with no thought of reward, and at some future point others will give back.
But what if you are giving freely and generously, and the result is you stay firmly in role, stuck at the same pay grade, with no promotion?
Then you are giving your commitment to someone who is self-serving and doesn’t understand reciprocity. They probably won’t give you a raise even if you ask for one! You need a new boss, and you need to influence more senior managers and contacts to find opportunities where you can contribute more and earn more. You need to work at being generous and giving your commitment on a broader front, and to activate your network by letting them know that you are ambitious to progress your career and to contribute more. Enlist a wide range of people in finding opportunities or influencing the right people, as a favour to someone who has done a great job for them in the past.
The takeaway
Don’t get hung up on money. If you want to progress, ask how you can take on a bigger challenge. Build great relationships and share your career thinking with influential people. The opportunities will come – and the money will follow.
The facts of the matter are that he was speaking to an all women audience. He was asked in the Q&A session, “How should a woman ask for a raise, when most women find this uncomfortable?”
His answer was essentially to believe in the system and the right things will happen. Take the long view and you’ll be rewarded in the long run – asking for a raise is not ‘good karma’ and he noted that this was advice he was once given by his female boss, and had followed himself. This advice wasn’t specifically directed at women, by the way, it was just that his audience was women. Other senior leaders in the tech industry hit back by saying that the research shows that women tend not to speak up about being ready for the next role as often as men – so his advice was ill thought out.
But both of these statements are compatible. Asking for a raise is not the same as speaking up about being ready for the next role. There is a lot of action you can take to make it clear that you are ambitious, that you are ready for a bigger challenge, that you are looking for career progression in the immediate future. Asking for a raise is probably the least successful, and we have seen real examples where this action has hamstrung careers. For example, 2 supermarket managers were offered a chance of a role as acting area managers; it was at a critical time for the business when no promotions were allowed and there was a headcount freeze. One (a man) refused to take on the acting role unless he was paid for it. The other (a woman) accepted the deal. She subsequently accepted a further progression into a bigger area management role – still without being paid the rate for the job. At this stage, she was managing store managers who were earning considerable more than her. When interviewed, she told me “I trusted the organisation would pay me when it was possible to do so.” 2 years on, when the freeze was lifted, the woman was formally appointed to the 2 levels higher role – with backdated pay. The man was still a supermarket manager.
There are several things that are wrong with asking for a raise, whether you are a man or a woman – and this seems to be the point that Satya Nadella was making. He never said ‘women shouldn’t ask for a raise’; he just said asking for a raise was not ‘good karma’. But he was talking to a female audience and the chance to blare out ‘Women shouldn’t ask for a raise’ was irresistible to journalists…
The first thing that is wrong with asking for a raise, is that the focus is on taking rather than giving. It’s better to say “I want a bigger challenge” or “I want to make a bigger contribution”, or “I want to progress my career and take on bigger responsibilities”. Saying “I want a raise” sounds blinkered, short-term. It suggests that you don’t understand the organisational perspective – where would an organisation be, if raises were just given to people who pushed hard for them? It’s very hard to justify a pay rise to people who control wage inflation, without an increase in responsibility to justify it. You may have had a fantastic result lately, and be doing better than others on bigger salaries. That might earn you a bonus; but it’s on-going responsibility that earns you a salary hike. (And if you are a high flier with a golden future ahead of you, you should expect to be outperforming others – you should treat this as a given.) The second thing about asking for a raise is that it is a bald transaction. “I deserve a raise” is rather too close to “You are ripping me off by paying me less than I’m worth”. This is the ‘karma’ Nadella speaks of. It’s a bit insulting to your manager, and puts them in a difficult place. The best advice is not to approach career progression in a narrow transactional way “If I do A, will you do B?” Instead, focus on building a lot of bankable goodwill. Invest yourself, focus on making the best contribution you can, be generous and not stingy with your commitment – and others will reciprocate in time with opportunities and progression. It’s the same generalised reciprocity that pays dividends with networking – give freely with no thought of reward, and at some future point others will give back.
But what if you are giving freely and generously, and the result is you stay firmly in role, stuck at the same pay grade, with no promotion?
Then you are giving your commitment to someone who is self-serving and doesn’t understand reciprocity. They probably won’t give you a raise even if you ask for one! You need a new boss, and you need to influence more senior managers and contacts to find opportunities where you can contribute more and earn more. You need to work at being generous and giving your commitment on a broader front, and to activate your network by letting them know that you are ambitious to progress your career and to contribute more. Enlist a wide range of people in finding opportunities or influencing the right people, as a favour to someone who has done a great job for them in the past.
The takeaway
Don’t get hung up on money. If you want to progress, ask how you can take on a bigger challenge. Build great relationships and share your career thinking with influential people. The opportunities will come – and the money will follow.