Choosing your mentors
Posted by
There’s a myth that every mentor needs to be a Yoda figure. But the truth is that successful mentors may not be good listeners, may not always offer balanced advice, and may not have a story, anecdote or sound-bite for every situation. In reality, mentors are regular, somewhat flawed people – who can really add value to your thinking and decisions.
So what qualities make a good mentor? The answer is, “it depends on what you’re looking for”.
The good news is that when it comes to career and capability mentors you can take a proactive approach to seeking them out. Look around your business, speak with your manager and colleagues, and keep your ear to the ground whenever people are discussing people who’ve done well in their careers.
The only time to be a little more considered is when looking for a “wise owl” or “Yoda” style mentor. With those types it’s better to let the person and the relationship emerge from your day-to-day work over time. These types of mentoring relationships need a deeper bond than a more practical career or capability mentoring relationship, so take your time and find the right person.
One final tip. Don’t go to someone and ask them to be your mentor. It’s a bit like proposing marriage on a first date! Instead, ask them if they’ll help you with a specific issue with a specific amount of time. For example, you might ask “I’m taking on a new responsibility and I’d like some support; I’m looking for someone who’ll meet me 3 times for a fortnightly review meeting of around 30 minutes; I’m asking you because…” If the chemistry doesn’t work, you can part on good terms; if it works really well, they will often be open to continuing the relationship.
TAKE AWAY
Have you got the right people mentoring you at the moment? Successful people generally acquire a range of mentors, and don’t rely on just one. Act now to identify and approach one person who could add real value to your development.
So what qualities make a good mentor? The answer is, “it depends on what you’re looking for”.
- There are mentors who are great at helping your judgement, skill and technical ability. These “capability” mentors are successful because of their ability to teach you the skills you need to develop. More often than not your personal feelings towards them (basically whether you “like” them) isn’t important. All that’s needed is for them to be good at what they’re teaching you – and it’s your job to extract what you need from them.
- Then there are “career” mentors. These people are willing to challenge you. They’ve got to be people who you trust; you must permit them to talk directly about things you might not like to hear. Equally, you must feel able to fight back! Ideally this person will also hold you accountable for your action (or lack of action). Sometimes having someone who kicks you up the butt if you don’t get your act in gear is just what you need from a mentor!
- Lastly, there are the “wise owls” – the Yoda-like mentors who understand you and what you’re trying to achieve. These mentors will guide you with questions that make you think differently about a situation. They will have a breadth of experience, and will gel with you personally (for example you’d enjoy going out for lunch with them). The chances are that they will see a mutual benefit in your relationship – they’ll feel like they’re getting something out of the time they spend with you too. And most importantly, you’ll feel comfortable sharing your innermost thoughts with them, and will want to listen to what they say.
The good news is that when it comes to career and capability mentors you can take a proactive approach to seeking them out. Look around your business, speak with your manager and colleagues, and keep your ear to the ground whenever people are discussing people who’ve done well in their careers.
The only time to be a little more considered is when looking for a “wise owl” or “Yoda” style mentor. With those types it’s better to let the person and the relationship emerge from your day-to-day work over time. These types of mentoring relationships need a deeper bond than a more practical career or capability mentoring relationship, so take your time and find the right person.
One final tip. Don’t go to someone and ask them to be your mentor. It’s a bit like proposing marriage on a first date! Instead, ask them if they’ll help you with a specific issue with a specific amount of time. For example, you might ask “I’m taking on a new responsibility and I’d like some support; I’m looking for someone who’ll meet me 3 times for a fortnightly review meeting of around 30 minutes; I’m asking you because…” If the chemistry doesn’t work, you can part on good terms; if it works really well, they will often be open to continuing the relationship.
TAKE AWAY
Have you got the right people mentoring you at the moment? Successful people generally acquire a range of mentors, and don’t rely on just one. Act now to identify and approach one person who could add real value to your development.